The Melody of Paternal Tigers
In the bustling city of Portland, a surgeon named Manny Moy is making waves, not just in the operating room, but also in the realm of parenting. Often referred to as a "tiger dad," Moy's approach to raising his twin sons, Benjamin and Robert, is a far cry from the traditional tiger parenting style popularized by Amy Chua.
Moy, a dedicated professional, is known for his focus on education. Yet, unlike the stereotypical tiger parent, Moy's approach is learning-focused and calm, eschewing the harshness and authoritarian tone associated with the label. He believes in doing "good stuff" without stress or pressure, fostering a supportive environment rather than demanding perfection through fear or intense control.
Unlike the traditional tiger parent who drives children towards specific career outcomes, Moy prioritizes raising "good human beings." He values a strong foundation and overall character in his children, understanding that success can take many forms. Moy balances logistics and appreciates differences among parenting styles in a blended family setting, focusing on providing stability and meeting his children's needs thoughtfully.
This is evident in the trio's complementary approach to parenting. Moy, with his focus on academics and science, is often paired with Tony Varona, who emphasizes language. Meanwhile, Varona's partner, "Daddy Rob," takes charge of experiential learning and travel.
Moy's favorite academic tool is Anki, a digital flashcard system that allows for the addition of one's own content. He uses it to learn Mandarin alongside his sons and to teach them new vocabulary in Spanish. The twins, who call Moy "Baba" (meaning daddy in Chinese), even helped him set up an online dating profile when Daddy Rob entered a new relationship.
On Saturdays and during the summer, their former Mandarin teacher gives Mandarin and math lessons to up to 10 neighborhood children in Moy's living room, which has been converted into a classroom. Moy believes in public school but recognizes its flaws and adds to it by providing additional learning opportunities.
Moy's approach is not just about academics. He also places emphasis on social emotional learning, recommending the book "Zones of Regulation" by Leah Kuypers. When at Varona's house in Seattle, the twins practice spelling and use Anki before playing video games.
Moy's philosophy is rooted in the belief that a good foundation is more important than external achievement. He does not stress about his children's futures, instead structuring their lives with rich learning adventures that allow for play, outdoor activity, and short bursts of academic work outside of school.
This family of four, soon to become five with Varona and Moy's upcoming wedding in November, recently embarked on a family vacation to Mexico. There, they began teaching the boys Spanish, with the boys ordering drinks "sin" alcohol in Spanish by the end of the week. Moy and Varona plan to maintain a commuter marriage and appreciate the downtime during their 4-hour drive on Interstate 5.
In summary, while Manny Moy shares the tiger parent label in terms of valuing education and success, his approach is notably gentler, more flexible, and more focused on emotional well-being and character development than the traditional model popularized by Amy Chua. His unique parenting style is a testament to the fact that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to raising children.
[1] This article is inspired by various parenting-related articles, including "9 Things Breast Cancer Taught Me About Raising Teens", "Beyond Tiger Moms and Attachment Dads", "For Households With Kids, It's Time to Bring Back the Landline", "Managing Marriage and Motherhood on My Way to Menopause", "A Dad's Top Tips for Introducing Young Kids to Video Games", and "Manny Moy's Challenging Tiger Parenting Stereotype".
- Manny Moy, dubbed a "tiger dad," is a surgeon in Portland, known for his focus on education, but his parenting style differs from the traditional tiger parenting approach.
- Moy prioritizes learning-focused and calm parenting, fostering a supportive environment rather than demanding perfection through fear or intense control.
- Moy's approach emphasizes raising good human beings, focusing on character development and overall growth, understanding that success can take many forms.
- The family consisting of Moy, his sons Benjamin and Robert, Varona, and "Daddy Rob" have a complementary approach to parenting, each focusing on different aspects like academics, language, experiential learning, and travel.
- Moy's approach to parenting is rooted in the belief that a good foundation is more important than external achievement, prioritizing emotional well-being, character development, and rich learning experiences outside of school.
